Just A Little On My Mind...

""But I don’t want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, or you wouldn’t have come here." - Lewis Carroll.

I’ve lost the best lady to ever walk the earth last week. Words truly can’t describe how lost I’m feeling right now. I keep smiling to everyone and saying I’m fine. But last night was the 6th night I cried myself to sleep. I know it’s apart of life that she’s gone and I also know she’s better on the other side as well as not being alone. But I feel horrid. I’ve been asked to share a memory at her funeral on the 30th but I won’t be able to see from my tears let alone talk. In spite of her passing I am very grateful to have had her as my nan. The only lady in my whole family that ever gave a monkey for me. No one knows the things I’ve written to her. My whole life has been disaster after disaster. But she made me feel normal. And feeling normal is a big thing for me! Oh nan. I just have to keep thinking you’re better off up there than you was down here with that horrid disease. (Dementia) I’m still going to write my letters to you.

"…Ever had one of those days, where nothing seems to be going right?" -Winnie the Pooh

Another successful day :) food intake 607, exercise total -748 which leads today my best day in the past month! -141 calorie intake. Boom! Bring on the thigh gap!


i know what it means, and

i’ll carry you home

500 calorie intake today. Very proud if myself. Also I managed to walk around for 4 hours. Living next to a hilly park sure does come in handy! Estimated burning of 483 calories which totals my intake as 17 calories :O

I am determined to be skinny by Christmas ^_^